dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
