erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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