dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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