if i can run in heels then i can drive
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
