i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I'm passing your future prison.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
