She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
the day after is always just damage control
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
