Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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