the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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