Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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