Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
