This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize