sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
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