the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
