Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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