I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
