I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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