Porn is love you can see.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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