i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
