I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
