How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
