if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
