I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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