I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize