I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
