Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
