How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
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That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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