You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
