yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
