8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
