Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
