walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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