ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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