i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
