the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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