Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
