vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
