He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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