is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize