and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
