Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
