idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
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she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
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