are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
