Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize