Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
