I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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