Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
