i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Kiss
Puke
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize