i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
