k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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