he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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