Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
