using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
