so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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