you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Randomize
