Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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