HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
