I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
