you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
