hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize