note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
