My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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