What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize